Monday, October 19, 2009

The Price of Social Awareness

I am poor. I'll be the first to admit it. I have no reliable job - I have managed to be a freelance bar tender/babysitter/notetaker/web writer for the last year. The only reason I can afford to maintain my lifestyle is HECS, my folks and Centrelink. I live on the good grace of others. I live, week to week, hoping to have enough cash to buy fuel and groceries (limited to cheese, milk, bread and vegemite) without using my credit card (which, but for the good grace of Kevin Rudd and my parents, would be $3000 in the negative by now). So on the happy day that I can perhaps afford eggs, I get assaulted with marketing and other peoples' attitude about how I should have a social conscience and buy the grain-fed, free-range, organically produced eggs in the recyclable/reusable/convertible/biodegradable packaging which costs almost twice as much as the eggs-in-a-box-from-chickens-in-a-box variety that I can barely afford. My sister, as much as I love her, is all about this sort of social-conscience grocery shopping. She buys her bread from a baker, her meat from a butcher (an independant butcher), she frequents her delicatessen and only buys FairTrade coffee. Her latest guff is to do with Woolworths and their apparent attempt to get in on the small business side of grocery shopping with their new Thomas Dux line of "maybe-if-we-wear-aprons-we'll-fool-them" grocers.

They'll never match the rustic integrity of the Stavros' deli down the road. You know the place that always gives you the wonderful crusty bit of the bread that you can dip in the balsamic and olive oil and pretend to be "oh so bo-ho". That wonderful shop, where Giannnis pinches a pimento stuffed kalamata olive from the display and pops it in your mouth before licking the brine of his fingers. "Is good, yes?" he asks, knowing full well the answer. "Is from my brother's farm in Kato Samiko..." he smiles as you attempt to roll the Grecian pronounciation around in your mouth. You walk out of the tiled, fragrant, epicurean utopia and stroll up the tree-lined roads back to your heritage-listed home. In your arms is a paper bag with a charmingly quaint logo on the front. A wedge of rich, soft, cheese - made to a traditional family recipe - $22 for 250grams; a breadstick made fresh that morning by a charming French/Vietnamese couple in their bakery that was handed down to them by their tough, battle-scarred immigrant parents - $8.40; a jar of those delightful stuffed olives from Stavros' - $9 for 300grams and a special selection of artichokes and sun-dried tomatoes - $12.70 for a small container; and your very favourite blend of organic fair-trade coffee beans ground fresh then and there by Lucy, the charming girl who knows exactly how course you need it for your Bodem coffee plunger. You smile to yourself, knowing that you have had a lovely afternoon socialising with some of the most delightful and courageous characters you may ever meet. You feel proud, knowing that you bought something from a small business, what a giver you must be - to seek out the service of those who could really use your business. God knows your business is all they think about.

The idea of tinned food stocked to the ceiling in the dingy warehouse type mega-super-ultra store around the corner is repelling. The people who shop there have no conscience at all - they are just feeding the machine while you, and all you consider important, are shopping at delis and butchers with marked up prices. "Oh but hand-made bread just tastes so much better," you say to your partner as you spread $2 worth of your guilt-appeasing cheese onto $1 worth of your baguette parisienne. 'It's absolutely wonderful," they reply, biting into an olive worth $1.25. Meanwhile, your water rates have gone unpaid and you are on your final notice. The electricity will be turned off tomorrow and the direct debit for your subscription to Wanker Monthly magazine will be deducted. You're not sure if you can make this week's rent. It doesn't occur to you to buy your oil in bulk. Or to, perhaps, pick up one of those 3 for $7 loaves of bread deals at the local Woolies. The idea of making food, storing it for later wouldn't occur to you and you simply don't trust meat that costs less that $14 a kilo. You have three credit cards, each one paying off the other but you wouldn't have it any other way. Because this way you can sniff at other people as they walk into Coles, tutt about how they have no consideration for their fellow man. But neither do you. You wear your social conscience like a fashion statement, you couldn't care less about where the money is going so's long as you can bump into someone in the deli and bitch about the scourge of globalisation. The same time the next day you are on the phone to the London office while some poor sod in the cafeteria cops and earful because the eggs aren't free range. Their shift is over and they hope they can get to Coles before it closes... there are four hungry kids at home and they've only got enough money for one roast chook and some pasta salad before next pay.

So don't tutt at me the next time I buy caged eggs. So I will buy them from the evil conglomerate super-mega-mart. They give me fuel vouchers, and the gods know I can use them.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Bikram Choudhury what have you done to me?!

Last night I went to my first session of Bikram yoga for a very long while. For those not in the know, yoga as designed by Bikram Choudhury is yoga with balls. Forget all that pansy incense flowing around the room, sounds of rainforests and relaxed breathing. Bikram yoga is praticed in a room heated to between 38-40 degrees C, with a humidity of almost 50%. You are in there for ninety minutes, and go through a series of yoga asanas (poses) that are designed to move every possible part of your body. Stretch every ligament, put pressure on every muscle and use every joint... and does it ever! After my first class at the Bikram College of India in Darlinghurst I discovered muscles that I never knew I had.

People say all sorts of things like yoga helps you move toxins and all that, I say that's bullshit. What it is doing is encouraging circulation, and with bloodflow comes the delivery of nutrients, heat and oxygen to parts of your body that might be starved of it. Such as the joints. Bikram is great (apparently) for people with arthritis because the heat makes it much easier to perform the poses and is very kind to your joints. I get annoyed with yoga because there are practicioners or yogis who are just full of crap. They say that it can help your mind unwind, reach higher states of being, clears toxins and can cure depression and all this kind of ethereal weirdness. Basically, Bikram encourages you to focus and concentrate on using your body in ways that you may not have ever done before. Toxins and emotional therapy aside - moving is good for you. Learning to control the focus and concentration of you mind is good for you. Bikram is good for you. I love it. Do it.

Here is a really interesting article from Yoga Journal about the man himself, Bikram Choudhury. Beware, he is a very eccentric man but wonderfully so. In his own words, "you can mess with the gods, but never mess with your knees."

Saturday, October 10, 2009

My new baby...


Hi y'all,

Meet my new baby. Should be in my hot, sweaty, midget-like hands in 9 days. Excited cannot it for wait because too! Grammar just went out the window (I hope someone catches her..boom tish).

Meanwhile I am exercising the diplomatic immunity that comes with being the Presiding Procrastinative of the Proud Nation of Procrati. In other words, I am simply not going my assignment because I have things to cook (even though I am not hungry), a room to clean (even though it could wait a few days), and episodes of Daria to watch (even though I have seen most of them before). Go me!

xx

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Rawr!

Im feeling a little pathetic right now - mainly because I have been browsing other blog sites and they all look so damn together. People with their knowledge of photoshop and stuff showing off... I tried to edit a banner together for shits and giggles and I nearly killed myself because I couldn't get it to look the way that I wanted it to.

Why should I feel like I have to compete with these people? I constantly look at other sites and think "wow, it would be cool to have that site, and that talent and that ability to put it together". It's almost a "wow, I wish I could be them" moment, but I find myself stifling that thought as soon as it enters my mind because it is simply a stupid concept to entertain.

When I was going for jobs (oh how many fucking interviews have I had??) there was several where I wished I was just that little bit more professional/edgy/hardcore/indie whatever. The result? I felt like I had no identity - I felt that my identity was the business of the people around me. You need a professional, happy go lucky receptionist? Sure I could be that. You need an edgy, cool but organised sales assistant? Hell's yeah I am there... well I could be there if I knew where there was... if I knew how to look like her... act like that...

So here we are - I don't wish I was you, because I am me and there's nothing either of us can do about it. My blog will have in it what I like, regardless of what I think you think I think I should or should not want to like or not like. Yeah, you read that.

Fuck labels.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Meet Roma

One of my attempts to find my sense of self again (oh how dramatic!) is to find a hobby that I can really feel passionate about. Since I will be moving into someplace I can call home, albeit a rented one, I have decided to grow some plants.

I have been talking to my avid-gardener mother for some time about this, and so this morning I awoke to discover this little piece of joy by my bedside.
Her name is Roma...because she is a roma tomato plant. I am planning to put her in a strawberry pot and plant lovely herbs like basil, thyme and mint around her base.

Procrast Nation Score: Gardening

Time Occupied... low to high (depending on the complexity of your gardening)

Difficulty... as difficult as you want to make it. Roma is going to be easy to look after, but apparently I have to keep and eye on her because she will get hungry and thirsty.

Getawaywithitability... limited because tending pots is a very luxurious thing to do. You do get the benefit of having messy hands after you finish - but many people would argue that keeping plants is a narcissistic waste of time. Especially when you can get delightful fresh tomatoes at markets and the like.

Amelie

Just getting this out there - I adore the film, Amelie. If you are ever in need of a little magic to brighten your day/evening it is absolutely perfect.It's also very exciting to listen to the French and occasionally understand a sentence.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Here's some gay-related joy!

I just dicovered Queer Duck - it's wonderfully non p.c.

About the Proud Nation of Procrasti

This blog is meant to be about me, I suppose. Well, here goes into the deep end.

Over the last year or so I have been feeling increasingly disconnected from life. As though I am some sort of marionette - responding to the orders of some higher power but feeling no real control or autonomy of myself. I can list with ease all of the possible reasons that I feel this way...

Primarily, I have not had consistent paid work for the last 9 months. My parents have been helping me out with things like phone bills and when I have no cash for groceries. My credit card bill was $1600 down before the K-Rudd fundage and my tax return. Even without the massive debt looming over my head - any spending that I do outside of groceries or fuel is met with an immediate sense of guilt and worry that I will have to ask for more emergency cash.

Consequently (and secondly), any passion that I feel for anything is immediately deflated as soon as I have to open my wallet. Example - I have been going to Bikram Yoga and feeling fantastic about it. I love the way it makes me feel. I never feel self-conscious going there, like I do with regular gym. I walk out feeling as though I have cleaned every part of my self - corporeal or otherwise. I walk out thinking "now here is something I can really feel passionate about." But I can only afford a ten-entry pass (and that is pushing it) and with every entry I use up I feel the stress of having to spend more money start to swell in my stomach.

I hate student living. I am living in shared accomodation with 3 other Uni students. I have been living there since the beginning of 2008 and will leave 31st December 2009. And man will I get pissed that night. Over these two years only one of my roommates could be described as a "good" friend - we have chats while making our budget meals, we whinge about the state of the boys' bathroom and we stare in horror at the roaches climbing the walls. Another roommate is a casual aquaintance. If we're in the same room we may talk, we may not. If we talk it will be amiable. Normally he has earphones in so it doesn't matter. The third roommate was originally a shut-in but, as I found out after he left, was actually a fire-twirler with the Uni circus society and was very much into rock climbing and all sorts of highly carcinogenic activities. He moved out and we're now living with a young boy from Hong Kong who can barely speak any English but has his heart set on studying commerce. We have had two conversations in our living relationship. The first developed into a full on discussion of Australian colonial history. The other was him telling me that The Simpsons was funny but he hadn't watched the movie yet. Oh and there was a third - where I scared him by intentionally setting off the circuit breaker in our apartment. Suffice it to say I am staring at next year with the intent burning gaze of Khat as she decides what to kill next. Don't let the picture fool you - she is a killing machine.
That's enough sadness for now - cue the upbeat "I'm gonna make it after all" type music.

So this blog is not meant to solve any of those problems - I am certainly not expecting to make any money out of it. Nor am I really expecting to feel a surge or passion about writing in it. I suppose what I really wanted to do was use it as a diary. A place to feel creative when I am feeling stifled. A place that I can make to really be about me...the irony being that thousands, maybe millions of people have already done exactly the same thing. No matter. The Proud Nation of Procrasti is a place where I go when I want to not play the Life game right now. Put the world on hold and indulge myself in finding out what really makes me happy. Creating, consuming, thinking... all of the above and more. Who knows what will happen in the Nation of Procrasti.

This is really an opportunity to shout out into the void and see if anyone is listening.

Painting a Room. Part Two: Undercoat

The next in a long line of ways to avoid doing assessments or whatever other important-but-painful thing you have to do is to paint an undercoat!

Procrasti Nation Score
Time Occupied... high (4 hours total)
Difficulty... moderate
Getawaywithitability... high

My parents have recently moved back into the house that they lived in when they were first married. It was designed and built by my dad - a teacher. For the last eon the house was occupied by a large and messy family who decided that they were well within their rights to paint our house... my room is bright pink. They also pinned thumbtacks right into the walls and drew in permanent marker on the powerpoints. I had a lot to do, and a lot to get cranky about. So after we sanded and filled the pin-holes, we set about getting rid of the pink. The cool thing about painting is that you often have to do multiple coats, so you can paint to procrastinate and then procrastinate from painting while it dries. Double-whammy!
A sure-fire way of knowing if you will get away with Procrasti Native acts of patriotism is if you come away dirty from it. You can't get much better than paint smears.

Painting a Room. Part One: Sanding...

I have discovered that painting a room is an awesome way to procrastinate, because there are all sorts of things to do. Many of these things are multi-step sagas in themselves - winner.

Procrasti Nation Score: Sanding.

Time... moderate (1 hr)

Difficulty... low

Getawaywithitability... eternal

There is something about manual labour that makes you feel just so darn useful. And who is going to tell you to get on with your work when you are saving them time? My dad went to the beach while my brother and I got down to avoiding business...

Shortbread Button Biscuits...

Procrasti Nation Score:
Time Occupied... high (3 hrs)
Difficulty... moderate
Getawaywithitability... high

This recipe is wonderful for procrastination because it is a super simple recipe, but has the most labour intensive decoration process - but still looks like you whipped them up out of nowhere. And you always get away with it when you make tasty treats for other people. After all, they're study aides...right?

You need:

250g softened butter
one third cup of caster sugar
two and a quarter cups of plain flour
one quarter cup of rice flour
one tablespoon of extra caster sugar

5cm round cookie cutter
the lid off of a water bottle
a skewer

You do:

Before you get started, preheat your oven to 17odegrees or 150 degrees for a fan-forced. Lightly grease two baking trays, and line with baking paper.
  1. Cream the butter and sugar together until its nice and smooth. I had to do mine by hand (the joys of moving house). If you don't have an electric mixer, you can make the butter extra soft (but not melted) and then rub it into the sugar with you bare hands. Then use a whisk to beat them together. Perfect for Procrastinatives because it adds a whole step of washing butter off of your hands - and no one can say that you're not doing anything because hey! You're covered in activity!
  2. Sift in the rice flour and plain flour, and then mix together with a wooden spoon. When it gets all crumbly, get your hands in there to bring it all together.

  3. Turn the dough out onto a wooden chopping board that has been dusted with some flour - then knead the dough until it's nice and smooth. Now here comes the time-consuming part!

  4. Place the lightly floured cookie cutter on the baking tray where you would like your biscuit to sit. Place one level tablespoon of the dough and put it inside the cutter. Press it gently down with your thumb until it is even, gently remove the cutter.


  5. Roll the bottle lid in flour and press it upside-down into the dough to make a deep indentation in the centre of the biscuit. Then use the skewer to mark out the holes, and the fork to make out a pattern around the outside. I left half of mine just nicely rounded, but my brother thought the pattern made it more button-esque. I promise that this will take a lot of time and make you look very, very busy.
  6. Sprinkle the biscuits with the extra caster sugar, and put them in the oven for around 30 minutes. Let them cool on the tray (of course they do taste magnificent hot from the oven).

This certainly kept me occupied when I should have been researching and writing... but I have tasty biscuits now. So who won? That's right.